smartnuts … the world on the cabaret-style dissecting table

Deloitte’s Ghostwriter

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Uuups – they did it again. Every time I go off on yet another rant about management consulting firms and their heroic inability to convert their bombastic “business value” promises into anything resembling measurable output, a few delicate souls show up in the comments to complain about my allegedly one-sided perspective on the industry.

Touching. Truly.

But then reality serves up exhibits so perfect they could be used in training material. Some consultants are apparently so breathtakingly lazy they don’t even take the most basic steps to disguise the fact that their AI sidekick did the heavy lifting while they pocketed the generous day rate. Not even a little lipstick on the pig. Nothing. Just Ctrl+C, Ctrl+V, invoice attached.

Meanwhile, the latest trend from politics seems to have migrated into the corporate sphere: “Open the gates and flood the zone with shit.” And why not? Who actually checks sources? Who diligently verifies anything, especially when the consultant’s “magnum opus” stretches across an awe-inspiring 526 pages? A doorstop disguised as expertise.

Well, apparently one client did check. Hard not to, when Deloitte hands you a bill for a casual 1.6 million CAD for a “report.” Even better: this isn’t their first performance. They ran the same play in Australia not long ago. Consistency is key, after all.

If that isn’t a par excellence example of their capabilities as a global player, I honestly don’t know what is.

About the author

Michael Bunzel

Michael Bunzel (aka maschasan) is a lawyer and engineer currently based in Germany. For over 25 years he has worked at the intersection of cybersecurity and the laws and regulations that govern it.

For more than fifteen of those years, Mike has held various roles in Information Security, Cybersecurity and SCADA/shopfloor security at a German car manufacturer - today in its R&D division, with a focus on E/E systems and automotive cybersecurity regulation across different markets (UN, EU, China, Korea, India, the US and others).

He has worked with global organizations across dozens of countries, cultures and languages, and is well-travelled across EMEIA, APAC and the Americas.

The articles on this blog do not reflect the views of his employer; they are his personal opinions alone.

By Michael Bunzel
smartnuts … the world on the cabaret-style dissecting table

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